LeaV

So, hello everyone.  I don't think I've been on for awhile.  No worries.  I have no earth-shattering news or conflicts to report.  I'm just enjoying summer for the moment.  I won't say, either, that I spend too much time on here and needed to go out and enjoy life and the real world.  On the contrary, I don't think I spend enough time on here : )  I miss it...ALOT!  However, when you live in the arctic tundra that is Minnesota, you need to take advantage of the 3, perhaps 3-1/2 months if we're really lucky to enjoy summer.  So, I've been watching Frisbee dogs and racing wiener dogs, parades and outdoor concerts, eating carnival food and cotton candy, and happily melting in the sun...AND...getting to spend time with these guys...

Happy pre-teen...............Moody camera-shy teen                                       Bewildered toddler

I've missed you guys and can't wait to get back to see all your stuffs and finally respond to all your kind notes and messages (sorry it's taken me awhile : (  )...and everything else fun that is Buzznet.  I should be on pretty regularly I hope until Friday.  I'll be gone again for a spell during the 4th of July holiday...so, I'll talk to you guys very, very soon; and in the meantime...sit on the curb and watch a parade : )   And by the way....how are your summers going?  Done anything fun or interesting?  I'll be going to Valleyfair Amusement Park soon and hope to conquer my fear of one ride in particular...it should be epic! : )

I live in the Midwest, specifically, I live in the southeastern corner of the GREAT state of Minnesota.  Directly to our south is the state of Iowa.  We make fun of them a lot, as we make fun of Wisconsin.  It's all in good fun.  My best friend is from Iowa, a lot of people I work with commute up to Rochester from Iowa and work at Mayo Clinic.  Yeah, so, all in all despite many miles of rolling fields of corn...Iowa is pretty chill; and they did give us the band Slipknot, yes? 

Anyway, this unassuming, quiet little Midwestern state is in a world of hurt right now.  Granted, their flooding is not on the scale of Katrina...but, it's pretty bad.  As of now, these are the counties that have been declared disaster areas by the President...

And, these are the counties that have been declared disaster areas by the Governor...

So, yeah, that's pretty much the entire state that's under water or in danger of being under water or so decimated by floods that their homes or the places they've called home are uninhabitable...

So, I went to read Yahoo this afternoon for some random reason, and I catch this article...

Best Cities to Live, Work and Play...

and here's the link...http://finance.yahoo.com/real-estate/article/105190/Best-Cities-to-Live,-Work-and-Play

Essentially, it lists Des Moines, Iowa, as the No. 9 best city to live, work, and play.  Now, that's all well and fine; but, they are under water right now.  The city is in a county that has been declared a disaster area by the President.  I'm not going to fault kiplinger.com from where Yahoo sourced the article (as the article was dated June 4, 2008, before the major flooding occurred); however, Yahoo take some responsibility for what you're posting.  You couldn't find a different list to put up in your Finance section taking into consideration that Des Moines, Iowa, is dealing with devastating flooding right now?  Did the editor double check the articles going up today?  Come on!  Do you know how tragic it is to read the tag line for this article "These ten great places will only get better,"   realizing what is happening right now?  Wake up and do your damn jobs Yahoo and stop riding around on your sequeways being trendy hipsters.  (And, I apologize in advance if anyone reading this actually works for or knows someone who works for Yahoo and I've just overgeneralized and lumped them into a group...I just have a serious angry right now stumbling upon this article.  And, maybe I'm wrong...)

Why Complain

This lamentable life
To deplore the
Sanctuary of what has become
Living past recollections
And craving the desire
Of trying to do it again

Living past tense
And forgetting present benevolence,
keepsakes, offerings, and affections
Living with a shroud of causticity
Letting all that would be splendor
Melt into a reservoir of reproach and sorrow

To unmask the lamentation and compunction
Equal to let go the deficiency of former
To just paint the bygone and obsolete
Awash in newly found shades of greens and blues
As effortless an undertaking never knew
To just be awash in greens and blues

9 a.m. on a Saturday morning.  ***severe thunderstorm warning***

Father

As small as you are
You learn to hold it in
As young as you are
You learn to hold it in

You never cry
You learn to hold it in
You never ask
You learn to hold it in

You want your mom
You learn to hold it in
You want you dad
You learn to hold it in

You grow to adult
You learn to hold it in
You make your peace
You learn to hold it in

Birthdays, holidays come and go
You learn to hold it in
Phone calls, letters never come
You learn to hold it in

Illness, sickness overtake
You learn to hold it in
You want to cry, scream, and yell
You learn to hold it in

A phone call comes, late at night
You learn to hold it in
You never had a chance to say
You learn to hold it in

3 p.m. on a weekday in June.  ***quarter- to golf-ball sized hail and a half-hour long hail storm***

Holistic Infant

The best advice I had ever gotten
Was from a toddler all of three
Who asked me if my brain was broken
And when I laughed and said maybe
He offered me a glass of water

1 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon in June.  ***tornado watches and then warnings***

Awhile ago, I made a poll for the Buzznet Movie World group regarding what movies you were excited about seeing this upcoming summer movie season. 

 I am so sorry Will Smith.  So, here’s the deal.  Sometimes, I drift off into dream world and imagine that celebrities actually read blogs written by your average American lay about.  Furthermore, I imagine that said celebrities actually read MY blogs.  Sometimes, little bits of actual reality permeate this dream world and begin to make me wonder if my little fantasies are not actually true fact, yo.  Case in point…I slagged on Will Smith in my poll.  Not too badly, but I said he has flashes of brilliance and then tanks.  So, I watch the MTV movie awards and here is what Will Smith says in his acceptance speech, “I haven’t always made great movies, but I’ve been tryin’ really hard.”  Why would he say that while accepting an MTV movie award for best male performance in “I Am Legend?”  Well, in my fantasy world, he said that because he read my blog, and he felt bad that I criticized him and didn’t recognize the effort he puts in to each of the movies he makes.  So, I personally apologize to you Will Smith.  If you’re reading this, I am sorry, and I am stoked to see Hancock.  You are an engaging actor that if you weren’t great…why does the summer movie box office number success or failure depend on whether or not you’ll be doing a summer movie?  I love you Will Smith. America loves you.  I sincerely apologize for the uncalled for bitchiness.

On that note, I also mentioned in that poll my dislike for Mike Meyers at the moment.  Specifically, I said, “Mike Myers is so annoying. He keeps using the same Wayne character for every dumb film he makes.”  So, what does he do on the MTV movie awards?  He brings out the Wayne character.  So, I guess Mike Meyers read my blog poll as well, but he didn’t take the criticism as well as Will Smith did.  So, if you’re reading this Mike, I still hate you and your dumb movies; and resurrecting Wayne and Garth was so unfunny.  However, your Australian caterer character was absolutely freakin’ hilarious.  Please do more of that!  That was genius!

Because, I demand you do...

1.  Suspiria (1977, directed by Dario Argento)

Dario Argento is the Italian film director (producer, screenwriter) responsible for this little piece of horror heaven.  To the many rabid horror fans like myself, Dario Argento is to us like Gerard Way is to obsessed teeny music fans (a god, duh…I guess they call us "Argentophiles").  Noted most particularly for his work in the subgenre of giallo (look it up…it would take way too long for me to explain it here) and, most importantly, in horror; he has also been a huge influence on the modern horror movie and slasher flick.  Look at it this way, we all know of the horror movie classic “Halloween,” correct?  Well, John Carpenter the director of Halloween was heavily influenced by Dario Argento (as well George Romero with whom Argento collaborated with on “Dawn of the Dead”).  His most well known (and probably his best piece of work in mine as well as thousands of other horror movie aficionados) is the 1977 movie Suspiria.  It’s about the supernatural.  It’s pretty violent.  It is, without a doubt, a visual work of art.  Who said horror couldn’t be artistic has never seen this movie.  Try not to concentrate too hard on plot and character (as those are secondary, almost afterthoughts)…the ecstasy is in the sound and vision.  Truly, this man is my one true inspiration. 

2.  Last House on the Left (1972, directed by Wes Craven)

Okay, so bear with me on this one and just as a disclaimer if you do decide to watch this film…this is a shockingly brutal and nasty little movie written and directed by Wes Craven ("Scream", "Nightmare on Elm Street") and produced by Sean Cunningham (who went on to develop the "Friday the 13^th" franchise).  This film was banned in the UK (and other countries I believe) for a very long time (and only recently released in the UK market uncut.  I think as of two months ago).  It was touted as one of the most terrifying movies of the time.  Yes, there are sadistic and horribly disturbing rape scenes in this movie, as well the actions enacted by one of the victim’s parents being amazingly horrifying; however, I believe that at the time, Craven was making a statement with regard to the atrocities that were committed (allegedly) during the Vietnam War, and you have to keep the context of the time this film was made in mind when viewing this film, connecting the political statements, and the look of the film as well.  Additionally, I believe it brought to horror the film idea of “realistic” violence.  This in part has to do with the almost nonexistent special effects or heavy editing done in this film.  The bareness of the film lends itself to seeming much more real and much more terrifying.  As I have heard before from many reviewers, it is a very uncomfortable film to watch.  I’m not sure if it is just the reputation the precedes this movie that makes it a must watch for horror movie fans and really the movie is no more than just exploitative gore or if this marked the beginning of a new genre of realistic horror with particular attention paid to the making of films later on such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre most notably and The Hills Have Eyes and then films such as The Devil’s Rejects and even Wrong Turn.  As for the seemingly novice filming effect to give that realistic feeling (or what I like to call “am-cam” filming, short for amateur camera filming) that this film provided, I believe we saw this used to marketable success with the Blair Witch Project and even recently in the film Cloverfield.  Again, I leave the disclaimer of this being an extremely graphic and disturbing film…watch at your own discretion.

3.  The Devil’s Backbone (El Espinazo del Diablo, 2001, directed by Guillermo del Toro)

It still amazes me to this day that this is one of the few movies, and horror at that, that has made me cry uncontrollably and for a long period of time after watching it.  First of all, let me list a few of the many things that make this my third favorite horror movie of all time:  (1) the reference to Argento’s film “Deep Red”, (2) the influence leading to the imagery of Luis Bunuel and Freud, (3) the fact that (and I did not realize this until I read this recently) all of the primary protagonists in the film have names that begin with the letter “c,” and all of the primary antagonists in the film have names that begin with the letter “j.”  This is definitely one of the best ghost stories ever, ever told and done for the big screen.  And, I demand that you find it, rent it, and watch it now!  For those of you who loved “Pan’s Labyrinth”, you certainly will love “The Devil’s Backbone” (if you haven’t seen it already).  In addition to being eye candy for the cinematography buff in us all (well, for me anyway) and allowing Del Toro to weave his lush and poignant story, the acting is remarkable, the tension, the juxtaposition of affection and reverence with dread and downfall…man, there is not enough I can say about this movie that would do it any kind of justice and that hasn’t been said already by the many who have been spellbound by this hauntingly beautiful story.  It is exquisitely splendid and yet so melancholy…lovely and frightful.  I have simply come to adore all of Del Toro’s work from Cronos to Pan’s and even Hellboy (and if you throw Blade II in my face, I’ll personally punch you in the neck).  His compassion combined with his visionary ideas is truly inspiring.  Now, go watch this movie!

4.  Rawhead Rex (1987, directed by George Pavlou, written by Clive Barker)

Okay, now for some lighter fare.  I still don’t know why this movie creeps me out.  If someone were to ask me, “What do you think of this movie?”   I’d say, “Well, it’s kind of goofy and corny.”  However, there’s something about this movie that I really love.  Sometimes, I think it has to do with my loyalty to Clive Barker (he of the “Hellraiser” movies and the ‘Books of Blood’).  I’m a groupie fan of Clive’s and even had the opportunity to ask him a question when he was a guest on a radio program here in the States called “Loveline” (don’t ask me what I asked…I think I just was being a fangirl..”OMG…I love you so much.  I loved Hellraiser.  OMG, I can’t believe I’m talking to you.”  Yeah, I think it went something like that).  The monster in this movie, however, is pretty epic.  Quite the scary beast they cooked up for a 1987 cheesy horror film; and there are some pretty heart-pounding monster chase scenes that still give me the creeps, especially being in a motor home in the woods (gasp).  So, I include this film on my list, because the monster scared me! 

5.  Evil Dead II (1987, directed by Sam Raimi)

This movie is fantastically stupid, which is why I love it so much.  It is so over-the-top violence mixed with goofy Bruce Campbell pulling faces that you can’t help but enjoy this movie to bits.  It makes no sense whatsoever, is corny beyond belief, and has the greatest evil dead monsters imaginable (my nephew when he was a wee one, about 9 or 10, called them the ‘oatmeal monsters’).  It is a brilliant satire on horror movies in general done with a bit of an homage to the genre in general (and not like the craptastic failure that is “Scary Movie”).  The one-liners alone are enough to make this movie memorable (I still like to say, “I’ll swallow your soul,” just for the LOLs).  A gem this movie is…putting the fun back in horror!

“Someone's in my fruit cellar!  Someone with a fresh soul."

“You bastards give me my hand back.”

"Groovy.”

Excited ramblings from the horror movie junkie:

***Dario Argento has just completed the third movie in his “Three Mothers” trilogy, “The Mother of Tears “(La Terza Madre), and it will be coming to my town on June 20 (in limited release) of which that date I have marked on my calendar and circled numerous times for emphasis with red magic marker.

***”Last House On the Left” is currently being remade with Dennis Iliadis directing.  Wes Craven and Sean Cunningham are producing.  Why do I have the feeling that this remake (along with the likes of directors such as Eli Roth) is going to have people looking on horror directors with the same disdain and lack of respect they look upon porn directors with?  I really, really wish Hollywood would get some new ideas.

***For those of you Lord of the Rings fans, if you hadn’t heard already, Guillermo Del Toro is set to direct “The Hobbit.”  The director (and perhaps not exactly the story) is enough to draw me into the theater on the day the film is released.

***Enough buzz from my horror movie buddies to get me really excited about a movie release (although Clive Barker alone is enough to do that) regarding Clive Barker’s next film, “The Midnight Meat Train.”  Okay, so here’s the issue.  The film is set for limited release on July 11 which is also around the release time of Del Toro’s “Hellboy II:  The Golden Army, “ (hmmm, decisions, decisions; but I’ll just see them both anyway).  This film is based upon one of the short stories from Barker’s “Books of Blood;” so, even though I know what the story is about kind of, I’m still a little excited to see it in movie form and if it plays the same way on the big screen as it did in my head.