LeaV

Yes, I was in hospital for the better part of almost two weeks (it seems that way anyway).  No need to delve into the sticky details.  Suffice it to say, I'm a fighter and...

"I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun.
I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I get my loving on the run"

So, I'm out now.  You know what's fun to do when everyone is asleep and it's really quiet...pretend you're going to be an unwitting victim of Dr. Philip Channard or shall I say the Channard Cenobite.  If you know what I'm talking about (or the song I just referenced), I guess you're as much of a spazz as I am : )

I missed my dogs...A LOT

It was pretty amazing to see them again.  The pack leader returned...all is right in their world.

So, if you are reading this; obviously, the first test of the Large Hadron Collider was for the most part successful.  No black holes eating up civilization, no zombie apocalypse, no alternate universe scenario…yet.

I first learned about this monstrosity from Yahoo, believe it or not, but I do note that Fox News is now carrying a story on the successful test today which essentially whizzed two protons clockwise along the length of the collider.  This test completed around 3:26 a.m. CST.  Next, I’m guessing, is to whiz them in the opposite direction, and then to whiz them straight at each other so that the scientists can attempt to recreate the conditions that existed a split second after the big bang.  Why?  Because they want to.  If you’d like to learn more, just hit up this Fox news article http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,420062,00.html for the full details.

Okay, so aside from everyone in the world (except for crazy scientists in their lab) being worried about the end of the world, I can’t help but think when they describe the CERN experiments revealing more about “dark matter, antimatter, and possibly hidden dimensions of time and space,” that somehow the world of The Mighty Boosh could become a reality…and that would be peachy for me.  But, what other post-apocalyptic scenarios could play out if the entire world wasn’t totally engulfed by a pissed-off ginormous black hole?

Well, welcome to Post-Apocalyptic World…come on in…we’re always open except when we’re closed…Here are some things we’d like to show you.  Things that happened after the last test of the Hadron Collider didn’t end so successfully.  Nope, no black hole that sucked up the world, but an alternate dimension of a journey through time and space that left us with some….stuff after this fail test to smash two protons together didn’t kill us all.

The intertubes.  It’s alive!  Almost like the soul-sucking alien invaders from “Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” the intertubes suddenly needed humanity to keep it functioning.  Because most of us have mini panic attacks, breakdowns, anxiety, and distress if we are without our beloved interwebz, no one really logged off, not even after the apocalypse…and the intertubes changed and no longer required electricity but instead eated human emotion.  Once the interwebz sucked out the last of your humanity leaving nothing but a husk and shell of a human being, you still didn’t need to log off.  Now, it just produced in you, you subhuman, this overwhelming need to troll innocuous web forums and create the e-dramaz!

LOLcats…exist.  A minimum of one per household to mock the shit out of you and plot your demise on a continual basis.  You can’t destroy them…they’re too cyoot.  Extreme douche-bags are required to have a dozen of them.

Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance and Panic at the Disco and Tokio Hotel and Paramore and HIM…thrived and continued making music.  Their rabid fans multiplied ten-fold (not so gud akshully). 

Paris Hilton…said, “that’s hot,” one too many times and literally burst into flames…in Post-Apocalyptic World, when you wear out an asinine phrase, you die by your words. 

President Bush appointed himself ruler of the world…and no one said anything.  And so, it was agreed upon by all the surviving leaders in Post-Apocalyptic World.  He lives in a tree house in the backyard of Pee-Wee Herman (or actor Paul Reubens who also survived).  They ride wooden stick horses and make pew! pew! sounds at each other, and when the world faces a crisis....he asks Jambi the Genie!

(That's all folks...I'll be offline for a few days for some medical silliness...if you're scared enough to crap your pants over all this...just laugh and think stupid thoughts!)